Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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