Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
