you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
