Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
