Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
we made out on top of his cat.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize