I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
