we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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