yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Also, beer. Big fan.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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