just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
