I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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