Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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