so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
