She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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