I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
