we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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