how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
