I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
