weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
