the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
