i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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