Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
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Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
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So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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