your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
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