My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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