How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize