i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
