If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
