how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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