dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
