Walk of Shame. In a state park.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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