whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
