Sponge bath it is.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
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