Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
