It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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