stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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