i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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