It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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