??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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