i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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