I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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