The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
