Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
