dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
