I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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