i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
