a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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