is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
we're chasing vodka with high fives
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
