There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
