Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
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You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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