spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
