What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You need Xanax blowdarts
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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