This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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