I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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