Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize