People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize