Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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