And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
