That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
