is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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