he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
