never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her