I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die