You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
