For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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