Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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