I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
bring money and cleavage
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I think my moral compass just broke
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
