We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
