Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
