wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
