do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
