are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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