May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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